I think one of the hardest parts about raising children is the great childcare debate. Does one parent stay home, do both parents work and opt for childcare? And if so, what is the best route? An in-home care provider, a daycare center? As a single mom, the decision was always pretty much made for me. I
have to work and so my kids
have to be cared for by others.
I dropped my oldest daughter, Olivia at the daycare the day she turned 8 weeks old. Then I cried all the way to work, and until my lunch hour and in my car on my lunch hour and all the way to get her. And for the next week. I wanted so badly to be home with her, but I couldn't. After all, now, I had more responsibilities and more expenses. And so with daughter number two and then daughter number three, I enrolled them in daycare centers.
Up until about 2 years ago, I always had a pretty healthy fear of in-home care providers. I had all the same fears as most parents. What will they do all day? What if she cries and she just lets her lay there? What if she harms her or doesn't feed her or doesn't change her diaper? What if she decided she just has to run to the store real quick and just leaves the kids at her home alone?
My first in-home daycare experience was a mix of good and bad. I had the girls enrolled in a new daycare center after we moved. Within two weeks I could see things were not done the way I wanted them to be done. Each and every day when I picked the girls up, Emmalee, the youngest and a toddler at the time, was sitting in a high chair. Just sitting there. That was a pattern I did not care for. One day as I was signing them out, a lady at the center mentioned she was opening a daycare in her home and I should enroll the girls with her. I did and for a long time we were very happy with one another. We became pretty good friends and on occasion would go out together. She dropped by my house on Christmas and she was the first to stop by to meet my new dog. To make a very long story short, she and her boyfriend got into a screaming match one day dring daycare hours and my children were subjected to something I am very much against. I pulled them from her home that very day and began a quick search for a new sitter.
After a few hit or misses we stumbled upon a lovely woman in my town. I was intrigued when I learned that she had 12 of her own children. "Surely this woman must know what she's doing", I thought to myself. When I first met her, I must admit I judged her on appearance and it was a good thing. I didn't know she was African American until I stepped on her doorstep and I was pleasantly surprised. Her home was bright and decorated with beautiful ethnic paintings and african masks. I should explain off the bat for those of you that do not already know me from
my other blog, that I am Caucasian and my children are African American. Since their father is not in their lives, nor is any of his family, their world is pretty vanilla. Therefore a positive black role model in their life, a woman and mother no less, was a blessing to me. And I truly believe Emmalee's sense of culture is enriched for the experience.
Unfortunately she did not have the space in her home to take on my two oldest girls during summer vacation, and since Emmalee so greatly wanted to be with her big sisters, I had to find a new babysitter for the three of them. I started with a woman that lived a little out of the way from us, but she had me sold at the initial interview when she explained the time she would spend with them in the yard and the field trips she was able to take them on since she and her husband owned a 15 passenger van. She didn't seem to incorporate too much education into the day, but I wasn't too upset about that thinking for the summer vacation they should mostly be having fun anyway. Within the ten days my kids were there, 5 different things that happened made me uncomfortable and the red flags were a'flyin. So again, we set on the journey to find a new sitter.
And again, we have hit the jackpot. She is an older lady that revolves her entire world around her "babies" and she has been a great influence in my desire to be the best in-home care provider I can be. I have put together a list below of things to look for to find a great in-home care provider and things that should make you weary. These of course are based on my own experiences, and I am no expert.
Ok, maybe I am a little expert. Mother vs. Non-mother:While I am sure there are childcare providers out there that do not have children, and are still wonderful, I have always preferred a provider that had kids of their own. Nothing better than real-world experience to prepare you for a job.
Communication:This is a biggy. I always first look at how the provider communicates with their own kids. If a provider is constantly screaming at their own kids or putting them down/talking to them inappropriately, it is only a matter of time before they lose their cool and talk to your kids like that too.
Also, if a provider has an issue with you or your child, they should talk to you behind close doors, alone and not in front of your child or other parents. This can be accomplished with a simple phone call after hours. Also be on the lookout for a provider that badmouths other parents to you, because odds are she is telling them your business too.
Open Door Policy:I always look for a provider that has an open-door policy, in other words, does not mind when you stop by to see your child or pick them up for the day. I have had providers that prefer that you do not come during naptime as to not disturb the other children, and that is acceptable, but if they downright forbid it, I would be very leary. You should be able to see
your child whenever the need be.
Also, find out what their policy is as far as their own company. Most providers let others know not to visit during daycare hours. After all, this is a business and their attention should be to the children. I would be leary of a provider that always has friends hanging around.
Postings and Routines:Look around to see if your provider posts things in her home or consistently shares things with you. You should be able to view a menu as well as a lesson/activity plan on a weekly or monthly basis. If she has not planned ahead, odds are there isn't much structure to your child's day.
Ratio:If other kids are not present during your initial interview, ask about them! How old are they? How many boys/girls do you have? I always steared clear of a provider that had too many babies. Again, I am sure there are those that do it and do it well, but I know, personally I would not be able to give the attention I needed to an older child if I had too many babies (under 12 months) in my care.
Age Appropriate Activities:Are there enough things for your child to do during the day? While an optimal provider spends the majority of the time playing or engaging your child, there are times when she will need to prepare meals and tend to other kids. There should be plenty of activities available to the children that they can do themselves and that are appropriate to their age. Also look for a provider that offers away-from-the-home experiences for your child. While one provider may not be able to pack up a house full of kids and take them to the Zoo, odds are she lives in an area where they can take walks, enjoy nature and maybe even visit a post office or fire station. Also, most local libraries offer in-home programs for providers where a librarian or other library staff will visit and offer books to check out.
Safety:
This should probably be at the top of the list, because it is very important. Does the provider have safety measures in place? Are there baby gates and outlet covers? Are there any open staircases? Also, don't forget to check out any large play equipment to be sure it is safe for your child. I will never forget the day I went to pick up my kids at a provider and heard them playing in the backyard. When I peaked around the fence, they were swinging on a swingset that came off the ground about 6 inches with every upswing. Not good!
References:Ask your provider to offer references to you. While every provider will probably have that one parent they just did not get along with, your provider should be willing to give you any number of references, including current parent clients. Be leary of a provider that does not want to offer a reference, a phone number to a current parent or a provider that seems to rush you out the door if another parent is coming down the walk.
Emergency Plans:Does the provider have an emergency plan? Does she know what to do with the children in case of fire, tornado/hurricane, or power outage? Also, are these things posted and does she share these plans with the kids in her care (if they are old enough)?
Also, be sure to ask about personal emergencies. Does she have a plan if one of her own kids becomes hurt or ill or she has another type of emergency? I once went to pick up my kids (at the house with the defunk swingset) and her husband informed me she had an emergency and had to leave so he "had em". My kids were visably uncomforable with this man they hardly knew. Again, not good, and the last straw for me. That was their last day there.
Policies and Documentation:Does your provider have her policies in writing? Is there something tangible you can read and keep regarding the way she runs her daycare? Be sure to get in writing her hours of operation, her vacation plans and scheduled close days, and especially her payment policies.
Also, you may want to ask in advance if you are required to keep your receipts or she will provide you with a statement at the end of the year for tax purposes.
While choosing a provider is a serious consideration and is personal to each parent, these are just some of the basics for looking for a good provider. Next up: What to Look for
After the Kids Have Started a New Provider.
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